Perverted fantasies and ignoble dreams,
I cherish the lies and the secrecy.
Yet still in a small corner
Of my filthy and twisted soul,
I dream and yearn
For a better self,
A cleaner version of me.
Yet the darkness that haunts me
Is hard to leave;
Like a persistent relative
It refuses to let go.
The shortfalls and sins
Feel soft as silk,
And yet they will be
The silken noose
That will end my life.
So I know I must renounce
The ways of my past and present.
Yet the path is hard,
The traps and twists are many.
And it seems that my faults
Can be confided with no one.
For then I will be shunned,
On ostracized outcast.
So who do I trust?
In whom should my trust
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