The following are the poems I wrote down for her. She's read a couple of them. Some are rewrites and one is a combination of 2 separate poems. They are almost in the order of how things proceeded.
“Will you wait for me,”
He said,
“Till the sun goes down
And rises again”
“Will you wait for me,”
He asked,
Hesitantly,
Tentatively,
“Till I gather up the courage
To ask of you that question
That I needs must?
Or if you have guessed,
Or already know,
What I will ask,
Will you favor me
With an answer now?”
“I’ll wait for you, my one,
Till the moon appears
And hides again.
Gladly will I wait for you
Through the darkest hour
And brightest morn;
E’en, if need be,
For forever and a day.”
Is what he thought
He heard her say.
But when he did look u,
Then did he realize
That he himself
Had spoken not a word.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
She sees him standing there,
Shuffling his feet,
Fidgety, nervous,
Hesitant to speak.
She has a premonition
Of what he will say.
He opens his mouth,
And she inhales sharply;
Anticipating, waiting,
For him to speak.
He closes his mouth,
Abruptly,
With no words spoken;
He opens it again,
To close once more.
She waits for him still,
To let his words find voice.
“I… Um… Ah... I seem…
I seem, my lady, to be,
At a loss for words,”
He finally stammers out.
“It seems my tongue
Is now no longer
My own to command.
It refuses to move,
And thus release,
The words that are buzzing
In my heart and head.”
She smiles knowingly;
A pretty smile,
With just a dash
Of mischief.
“how may I answer thee, my knight,
If the question itself
Does lie unspoken?
Wrest control of your tongue
From whatever it is
That does still it.
Release your question,
Set it free;
Voice it out loud,
And fear you not
For mine answer.”
She smiles again,
And whispers, sing-song,
“for’ tis a fearful tricky game,
My incipient knight,
That you have chosen to play.
The dance is wild,
Bewildering and confusing,
And often does appear to be
Devoid of meaning.
Yet there is no escape;
This dance,
The dance of hearts,
Must be danced.”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
She moves, and waits
For him to make a move.
He moves,
Slowly, creaking of rust.
They meet midway,
And begin to dance
In and out
Of each other’s paths.
Meaningful words are few
And far, far, between.
Implications and hints,
Nudges and winks abound;
They have replaced words.
He opens his mouth
And she inhales sharply.
She wonders if it is time,
If he’s gathered up wit and courage
To finally speak up.
He opens and closes his mouth,
Like a fish in air.
He stammers,
Exasperating her
And frustrating himself.
Intentions exist,
And so do the words,
But they reach no further
Than the pit of his throat.
He finally mumbles
“I… I seem, my lady,
To be at a loss for words.
It seems my tongue
Is not my own.
It refuses to move,
And thus is preventing me
From liberating these words
That are buzzing
In my heart and mind”
She smiles at him,
“how may I answer, my knight,
To an unspoken question?
Wrest you control over your voice
And be you a man, a knight.
Speak up, loud and clear,
Set free your words,
Questions and emotions,
And be not afraid
Of answers or consequences.”
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Her face is going cryptic
And I can no longer understand
What her eyes say.
Her mouth moves,
And there are words,
But I’m no longer sure
If what I seem to hear
Is what is being said.
I fear
That there is a mask
Somewhere in between
My eyes and her face.
I thought I knew
Where this unfamiliar road would lead.
Now I’m back
To my default, familiar state
Of confusion.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Her face o longer speaks to him,
Her eyes hold him no more.
He washes his hands
And puts them up.
But he hasn’t given up yet.
He walks away,
Frustrated,
That all his attempts
Seem to make no difference.
He walks away,
Puzzled,
That his advances
Are neither warmly welcomed
Nor coldly rejected.
He walks off,
But not too far away.
He wonders,
Will she bother
To come look for him,
Or will he be forgotten,
Buried in memories,
Without a trace.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Who are you
And where did you come from?
How do you have
So strong a holdover my mind, my heart?
You couldn’t have,
Shouldn’t have, mattered;
Yet, you do…
Why do you matter?!
Why can’t I bury
You and your memories
Deep in my mind, along with everyone else?
Why can’t I lay you to rest,
With the rest
Of my mistakes and regrets?
I had decided
Never to walk this path,
Or atleast,
Not anytime soon.
And yet,
Now I find myself further down this road
Than I’ve ever been before,
All by myself,
Unaided and alone.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
She’s oblivious,
Eyes closed,
To my irritation.
She’s ignorant of
Her unspoken, implied promise.
She’s unaware
Of the vague, nebulous hopes
She inspired deep within me,
In the darkest dungeons
Of my heart’s fortress.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Standing on the line
Between bitterness and hate
And wondering how to return
To the earlier world
Where neither existed,
Nor the separating line.
Wondering now,
How do I return
To my earlier state,
Where she was known
And yet, still unknown.
I want my indifference back:
The thick, cold shield
That was around my heart.
I need to exorcise
All the specters of hope;
I need to remove from my mind
All he implied promises.
I lost my trust and my shield;
Tried losing my heart
But it never went away.
Found anger, found pain,
Found a bitterness I never knew.
Is this, I ask you,
Is this love?
